THE RUMOR we’ve all been dreading: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are getting a…
don’t say it…
nope…
it can’t be possible…
nothing in this world will make sense if I hear that awful word in the same sentence as Jay and Bey…
…a divorce.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yep, if the rumors spreading like wildfire on the interwebs are true, this is the end for the Queen of Pop and the King of Hip Hop. But, let’s be real: we all knew this was coming. Why else would Solange beat the crap out of Jay in an elevator if it weren’t for cheating? The power couple has been making headlines recently over cheating and divorce rumors. Many people are speculating that they’ll split after their “On The Run” tour. They were both seen not wearing their wedding rings either. Uh oh.
The couple is reportedly worth $900 million. That’s an insane divorce settlement. I wonder who is going to get custody of the words “surfbort” and “bae?”
Also, they’re apparently trying to “figure out a way to split without divorcing,” whatever that means. Let’s hope they don’t go the Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin path by “consciously uncoupling” or pulling some bulls**t like that.
A larger issue, though, is their tour. I’m assuming their marriage has been on the rocks for a while, and that they were staying together purely for business reasons. If it came out that Jay was cheating, he would lose a hefty amount of his fan base, and a s**t ton of money. They stand to make a lot of money on this tour, and a divorce would complicate things.
Meanwhile, fans on Twitter are losing some s**t of their own:
Why do Jay-Z and Beyonce represent the ultimate perfection in modern love? Is it because they’re both successful and wealthy, so they should automatically be in love forever? Why weren’t people as upset when Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman divorced? He was the f**king Penguin in Batman! And she was in Cheers for f**k’s sake! I guess being a beautiful and unstoppable force of pop culture has something to do with it. More girls look up to Beyonce than Rhea Pearlman, which makes sense but is a travesty, in my opinion. Have you guys seen Cheers? I mean, come on, it’s perfect.
Some media outlets are claiming that Jay and Bey’s entire marriage is and was a sham for profit. They’ve been together for twelve years, long before the Queen and King of Pop and Hip Hop were even a profitable thing. I highly doubt their entire marriage was a façade. I do, however, believe they are staying together currently for business reasons. If it comes out that their entire On The Run tour was just a performance (but, like, that’s what it really is though, right?) I think fans will be upset. Building an entire tour around their love for each other reeks of bulls**t if they knew a divorce was coming. They are performers, though, so who can really blame them?
A HUGE hint that the truly-hardcore “Stans” (the name for Beyoncé’s followers, although I think “worker Beys” has a cute ring to it) have picked apart is something that happened at a Beyoncé concert. The original lyrics of Bey’s song “Resentment”are as follow:
“Been ridin’ with you for six years. Why did I deserve to be treated this way by you?”
At a recent show, Beyoncé changed the lyrics from the original “six years” to 12 years to personalize the song. Beyoncé married Jay-Z in 2008. While they have been married for six years, they have been together for a total of 12 years.
SPECULATION!
I think the reason people are so obsessed with their relationship is because they seem to have it all: wealth, talent, fame, looks, coolness, a baby with a hip name, AND love. It’s what every single person on the planet desires. They are living the modern American dream. If we find out that this whole thing is fake, then whom do we have to look up to? Kanye and Kim?
If they do, in fact, call it quits after their tour, at least we can look forward to endless “Jay’z got 100 problems now!” jokes on Twitter. Ugh.
Image Credit: Daily Mail/Reuters
