The #1 First Date Question

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The question that has been asked a million times but never really answered to my satisfaction: do you completely lose any chance of seriously dating a guy if you sleep with him on the first date?

morning cup of regret?

morning cup of regret?

I’ve got a one in a million answer for you. In my humble opinion and personal experience, the final resting place (or lack thereof) of that first date does not necessarily divine the course of your romantic trajectory. Now, disclaimer: I am a bit of a romantic, so if I fall for someone before dessert, then my mind won’t have likely changed by breakfast regardless of what transpires in between. I’m also not particularly judgmental so, unlike your future mother-in-law, I’m not going to condemn you for sex-before-second-date. If two people really hit it off and passion carries you all the way home, there should be no slut-shaming double standards.

That being said, the emotional context for “the deed” can have an effect on how your potential beau labels you in his brain, consciously or otherwise, and the surest way to avoid falling into the casual sex category in his little black book is to wait before you celebrate. Also, we men can send seriously mixed signals, some deplorable playboys even do it on purpose just to get inside the castle gates, so unless you’re a Law-and-Order-Criminal-Intent level judge of character, the safest bet is to let the Trojans wait. Confused yet?

Let me put it in a nutshell: if someone really feels a deep connection with you, that’s not going to change because you violate some minimum date quota (unless you’re really, really rusty). But reading people can be tricky, and if you know you like this person it might be smart to wait for him to show his cards before you both go all in.– Chris Brown

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