BYOB: Be Your Own Boyfriend

Get a motorcycle. Relationships have always seemed to offer me some sort of otherness, a sense of novelty. The guys I dig are most often appallingly irrational, overly generous, and/or flippant about dying – all things that I am, by my very nature, not. But this waiting to live sort-of-vicariously through your boyfriend is pretty limiting and stupid. Maybe you don’t want a motorcycle, but the message is this: Do what you want to do, don’t sit around and wait for that proverbial bike to come around.

Buy your own jewelry. Lately I’ve been looking at a lot of vintage engagement rings on eBay. Not because I want to pretend I’m engaged or something yearningly psychotic, but because I think they’re really beautiful and precious and the thought that I have to wait for someone to bestow one upon me is irritating.

Travel solo. I had an easier time with this when I was younger, for some reason, and traveling alone does not pose the same adventuresome thrill that it once did. In truth, I prefer the company of people on journeys. Still, to let all of your traveling prayers go unanswered – that trip to Vietnam you’ve been dreaming of, the surf camp in Costa Rica, the short drive to a cabin outside of the city – is a total waste of time. And, as someone once said, “The trouble is, we think we have time.” Go now.

Watch sunsets. Those suckers are always good, whether you’re by yourself or with someone else.

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