A million years ago when I was taking acting classes in Los Angeles (just like every other model), our teacher used to routinely remind us of his phrase of choice: Don’t ask for permission. The idea was to liberate his students from the self-doubt and insecurity that essentially made for, well, really horrible acting. Don’t hold back on account of us. Act! Often this was enough to milk a better performance out of everyone, freeing us from some foolish, limiting idea of how things should be.
While I do not act anymore, I have taken the saying with me and applied it to my life in general. As people, I think we often look towards others for permission. You hang out with your crazy friend so you can act crazy. You hang out with your funny friend so you can be funny. The list goes on. It is a small form of vicarious living, and, I guess, one that makes sense.
I will, in effect, give myself permission to live not just some of my life, but all of it.
For me, this is a greater hazard when it comes to my dating life. I find that I’ve been waiting to do a lot of things with the assumption that these will be better when in the company of another person. Since all of my friends have effectively paired off, I don’t really have access to reliable wingmen anymore – which means I could be waiting for a long, long time.
My solution? Be my own boyfriend. All of those things that I’ve been waiting to do, I will do on my own. I will, in effect, give myself permission to live not just some of my life, but all of it.
Herewith, a step-by-step guide.