Are Men Afraid of Virgins

In your opinion, do men like virgins, or do they see them as too long/much of a commitment?- Lucrenzia

between the sheets

between the sheets

Dear Lucrenzia,

Ah the great virgin question, plaguing the hearts of men since the immaculate conception. It is the ultimate double-edged sword (or sheath, as it were). The prospect of claiming a lady’s virginity is as enticing as the Holy Grail, but as perilous as a sub-prime mortgage. The ego-inflating conquest of being the first is potent motivation, but some are lacking the courage to pay the emotional pauper that justly follows to collect.

Now in a manner that I would like to consider empathetic and modern, I would have to say that a man’s reaction to this opportunity should depend on the woman’s own emphasis on the sacredness of said virginity. A modern and sexually liberated girl (soon to be made woman) might be enthusiastic to get the ceremony of it all over with so she can enjoy a sexually active, adult life. In such a case beleaguering the consequences in terms of his own emotional responsibility, in my opinion, supersedes a self centered nature on the part of the lucky (or convenient) gentleman.

On the other hand, if you place a higher esteem on this particular right of passage for reasons religious, conventional or otherwise, then I would consider a candidate’s reluctance a good acid test for your own taste. If it’s important to YOU that your first time be with someone who cares seriously about you, then the foundation for an emotional support structure should be forthcoming, or you should wait for someone with a more solid constitution. It is egotistical and cowardly for a man to hold very valid feelings against a woman with whom he wants to share something special because of how they might implicate him. It’s called accountability fellas. You can’t have your pie and eat it too. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Cut once, measure twice (maybe not quite as applicable).

So my short answer to your question is a denial of that question: it’s your body and you should be less concerned with how we feel about your decision, and more concerned with finding someone who shares your priorities, or lack there of.

Just don’t die a virgin or the terrorists will get you. — Chris Brown

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