Unnecessary Accessories: Dinosaur-Spike Backpacks



Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge fan of backpacks for adults. In fact, I’ve recently discovered one of my favorites, a gorgeous python number for the not-so-totally-outrageous sum (if you’re a millionaire) of $1,600. But until I’ve slept in my car for a month and sublet my apartment to save the cash, I’ll have to stick with my totally vintage, totally serviceable patent leather Bottega Veneta bag. I will not, however, be switching over to the horror I witnessed today, even if it means saving myself $1,550.

Behold, the dinosaur-spiked backpack. Being that I do not have children and accordingly do not spend any time in New York elementary schools, I had yet to encounter this playful pack which, I supposed, is perfectly suited for a young child, given its playful nature and rather absurd circumference to usable space ratio.

That was until today.

Trotting in front of me was a young woman — around the vicinity of 24 years old –taking the ‘90s revival happening right now and charging full-steam ahead with a literal interpretation. If I turned on a documentary about Nirvana circa 1991, she could have easily passed for one of the people floating around the background of one of their early Seattle shows. With her half-shaved head, her choker necklace, and her burgundy pair of Doc Martins, I felt as though I had had a genuine encounter with a youth lived through SPIN Magazine. More power to her. Thank you for taking me back in time.

The only modern addition to her garb was the backpack, which, in a very abstract way, I guess registered as “punk” in that its pointed leather knobs did resemble spikes. Not so wistfully nostalgic was the instant, unfortunate reference my brain made to that Dinosaurs TV show (also a product of the ‘90s) and the screaming thing in a highchair calling out, “Who’s da baby?!” There are some cultural movements you’d rather leave buried in the annals of time.

This sort of sartorial infantilization amongst adults – the kitty-cat shoes, the animal-themed hats — is something I don’t really understand. While it’s nice to relive eras in fashion, there’s no use living in the past or your childhood.

A grownup girl needs a grownup bag, even if it is a backpack.

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