Whether you specifically avoid the online dating situation completely or weed through the masses on Match, I’d like to point out that the whole experience could be much, much weirder. Here are some dating sites catered to those with um, distinct tastes. Happy hunting.
Okay hold on. Don’t rush out and make a profile for your ex-boyfriend or your next-door neighbor on this site as a hilarious gag. This is an exclusive dating site for people who actually dress up as clowns regularly for work, or for play, or for scaring children in the night.
Hot Sauce Passions
I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand I really like hot sauce…so much so that I include that thrilling fact in at least half of my writer’s bios. On the other hand, I have never considered differing tastes in condiments a breaking point in a relationship and I’m sort of concerned with how much more someone can possibly love hot sauce. That stuff can be dangerous it’s not a toy.
If this dating site actually focused on traits that reflected the survival of the fittest I might be into it. You know like having a good sense of direction, being able to identify poison plants on our hiking path, and the ability to pick locks or make lots and lots of money. It doesn’t though. Its aim is to match up those singles blessed with nice looking faces and I feel like this is just asking for trouble. Imagine the tragic 2032 Darwin Award going to an offspring of some simple minds who met on Darwin Dating. Ugh! What a legacy.
Sea Captain Date
If you didn’t already have a secret do-the-captain-at-sea fantasy maybe this dating site’s tagline will help pique your interest: “Find Your First Mate”. So dang clever.
Don’t mistake this dating site for the one catered towards people who are sexually attracted to other humans dressed up as animals. That one is called “furrymate”, obviously. This site is simply an easier way to connect with potential dates that share your love for cats, and to efficiently weed out all those pesky dog lovers. Meow.
Believe it or not there are different distinct styles of mullets, and with the fashion forward help of Mullet Passions you can find your mullet soul mate whether you like ‘em “mudflap”, “classic”, or “spiky”. It’s free!
The Ugly Ball
This site is catered to the self-proclaimed “aesthetically average”. I mean, it’s sort of nice that there’s a welcoming place for people who don’t make the cut over with the Darwin Dating studs, but how do come across this in the first place? Google search: “ugly dating”? There must be a more uplifting way than this.
My Lovely Parent
Ha ha! Play out some of your favorite sitcom fantasies by setting up your single and lonely parent without their consent. Great fun. Stories for the holidays.
It’s hard to imagine that this diaper lover’s dating playground is anything besides a set up by the government to keep a closer eye on potential deviant behavior. I’d avoid this one if you can help it.