Facials for Your Lady Parts


little lower.

You might be familiar with the fact that people occasionally get vaginal reconstructive surgery to make their lady parts more aesthetically and physically pleasing, and you’ve certainly heard about all that sparkly vajazzle business. Those are extreme ways of shining things up in slightly different ways, but extreme none the less. But have you heard about the “vagacial,” (vagina plus facial), the newest way to spruce up your peach with some relaxing steaming and serum action?

Sigh. What’s wrong with our vaginas? This vagina beautification trend is quite a new phenomenon in the U.S. On one hand it does send a message about female rights; it wasn’t all that long ago that women were being treated for hysteria (classified by sexual desire, insomnia, and a tendency to cause trouble) by means as drastic as hysterectomies and as creepy as vibrating tables to assist in much needed “releases.” But now that we know better we’re opting to decorate ourselves to high hilt?

To be fair, many of the beauty treatments and surgeries ladies undergo to beautify are completely unnecessary in the grand scheme of things, but for some, a reshaped nose might really help with lacking self-esteem, which is not unnecessary. Zapping zits is pretty standard, and shaving off disliked bumps isn’t all that far behind.  People see your nose all day every day. There’s not hiding it.

A vagina on the other hand, is usually tucked away for the majority of the day unless you’re donning one of those leotards Miley Cyrus loves. That’s a little more up close and personal. Even so it’s not the whole shebang. Your partner (or partners) of choice are most likely the only folk(s) down there and if they are complaining about your lack of shimmer you might want to reevaluate your choice in mate. Would you suggest that your boyfriend get a little papaya penis mask treatment and a stenciled heart somewhere down there? Probably not.

Proponents of the vajacial might suggest its similarity to a waxing session. Legs spread, work done. But we say, if you’re heading out for a leisurely afternoon of getting steam blown between your legs just because you can, perhaps you’re better off saving the cash? Or at least spending the dough on a manicure that your friends can admire and you can post on Instagram.

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