Why don’t guys make phone calls anymore? What happen to the art of a conversation? Why do they only text? Is it a generational thing or did they just become lazy? If they only text does it mean they don’t like you as much?
push the button.
There are two sweeping generalizations I would like to make before I address this question in any detail. One: men do not like to talk on the phone to anyone, ever. Being on the phone serves a function which is to communicate a message, and beyond that it is a prison that binds everything but my attention span. Two: this is totally non-exclusive to men. Women are the masters of the art of the ambiguous text, let alone conversation. “Sure.” What does it mean?! One word, so many potentially dangerous meanings!
Now if you’re not completely sated by the above wisdom, I do have another theory. You can always say more, you can never say less. Being on the phone is like improv or live TV, once a thought pops into your head you have half a second to filter/censor it before the awkward silence sets in, and for people that are famous for foot-in-mouth faux pas, it’s a high stakes game. With a text message, you can write it out, read it to yourself several times, edit it, and try to chop it down before sending off an eloquent and charming digital note. Especially when you’re nervous about something, the written word allows for much more time to think, and think twice.
To expand on that theory, I would say yes, it is a generational thing as well. In the age of Facebook and Tumblr and Instagram, we’ve become accustomed to the privilege of showing just our good side: three-quarter portrait profile pictures that mask our lazy eye, six existential books we read in college in our favorites column, and the vain ninja de-tag. Poor public speakers probably feel they have a better chance at de Bergerac-ing themselves into your pants than spinning an oral web of seduction. Take solace in the possibility that your phone shy Romeo is just made nervous by your inner 2013 Superbowl Beyonce.
It could also be any of the following more superficial reasons: it’s noisy where he is, he is with friends and doesn’t want to have the conversation become a public forum, he doesn’t have more than 140 characters to express, he applies the act of “being present” in a very literal sense, he’s paranoid about brain tumors, he’s trying to play it cool, or he’s just not that into you. Although I can personally say that I like my girlfriend more than anyone, and I still don’t think I spoke to her over the phone for the first 3 months of knowing her. Nutshell? If it bothers you, call him, otherwise try not to over think it.–Chris Brown
