Ask Him: A Man’s Thoughts on the Return of Pubic Hair

What do guys think about the “return” of pubic hair? Is it really a turn off? Is it really fair for dudes to compare beards to pubes?


I feel like I’m obligated to state that my opinion does not mirror that of every guy—not by a long shot. My thoughts vis-à-vis pubic hair quite possibly don’t even mirror the opinion of the majority of males in my generation, because I don’t rightly know what French or Nigerian or Investment Banker dudes like. I don’t even rightly know what my friends think about a woman’s decision to bush or to not bush (aside from Sophia, we’re all for her) because it’s just not something we sit around and discuss. I am also of a maturity level that is so low that I still sometimes lightly giggle when I hear the word “pubes.” (It’s a hilarious word.)

I’m going to inverse my answer to this one and start with the question, “Is it really fair for dudes to compare beards to pubes?”

No. It is not. It’s patently ridiculous, and to do so is completely reprehensible. Why would you want to consider the hair that grows on your face to be similar to the hair that grows in the nether regions? Most people spend their entire lives trying to avoid having pubes touch their faces (excluding, of course, the oral pleasuring times). Comparing a beard to a woman’s pubes is like comparing, well, a vagina to a face, quite frankly. A beard is a beard and a bush is a bush.

My inclination re: the thoughts guys around my age have about the return of pubic hair is that they are more apathetic about it than anything else. Pubes are not that big a deal, really. We all know that any time we are lucky enough to see a woman without any clothing on her lower half, we’re either going to see pubes or we’re not, and either way it’s still pretty groovy. We’ve got more important things to worry about, like not performing so horribly that she and her friends give you a nickname like Minuteman.

Some dudes may be surprised initially, because in the era when we were sexually maturing, the waxed lady part reigned supreme. (Check out this story by my esteemed colleague, for a wealth of information on the history of the growth vs. no growth thing in popular culture, and the burgeoning return of the bush.)

Think about it: most of us saw like three million vaginas by clandestinely looking at pornography before we even saw our first one in real life. Unless we were raiding our dad’s old 70s magazine stash, we came into sexual maturation believing that no hair was the norm that we were supposed to dig, and girls in my generation seem to have assumed the same. And what you’re raised with is usually just what you go with until your thoughts are challenged otherwise. (If we were Aboriginal Australians, for example, we would have come of age going on months-long walkabouts out in nature, where we couldn’t have sheared our pubes if we thought about it or wanted to. If we discovered our sexual selves out there in the bush—hehe—it would have never even occurred to us to axe off our pubic hair.)

Finally: Is pubic hair a turnoff?

Absolutely not!

Pubic hair means that you are indeed a woman. And any woman I am attracted to could have any amount of public hair, in any coifed or haphazard design, and with any vagazzling pattern, and it would not deter me in any way from having sex with her, and being plenty turned on about it while I do. Furthermore, the presence of pubes would not impede me from attempting a repeat performance. Bush or no bush, I’m still going to drunkenly text message you the next week from an Arby’s at 3 a.m. to ask if you would be interested in a Round Two, and if so, whose place and how many packets of horsey sauce should I bring?

A guy should, without question, respect and admire what you do with your pubis, especially if you’re letting him spend the night. I mean, your decision to have sex with a dude should not be taken lightly by said dude. If you wanna bush out, or just don’t feel like waxing or shaving or Nairing or whatever, don’t worry about what a guy might think about that. And if he gives you any guff about your muff, tell him to go get his balls waxed, and then the two of you can revisit the trimming-the-hedges discussion.

Trust me—if a guy ever went to his friends and said he wasn’t going to see a woman again because she had hair on her vagina, he would likely be beat up and vilified forever. And then at least one of his friends would try to date you.

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