It's American Airlines- Not American Idol


I recently went home for a quick weekend for a wedding. By the time I was headed back to LA, I was exhausted and filled with anxiety about all of the work I had to do upon landing. I flew Southwest which for those of you who don’t know has a boarding process where you receive a letter group and number when you check in and you board in that consecutive order. I was in the A group which I was grateful for as I like getting an aisle seat near the front of the plane. I mean have you seen how long it takes people to de-plane these days?

I chose my perfect seat and the two people that sat next to me seemed nice and normal. I thought that I was in the clear, but I wasn’t. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that I was in for an extremely disruptive flight thanks to the person behind me. But there she was, channeling a cross between the diva herself Ms. Mariah Carey and Jennifer Hudson. Ear buds in and mouth open. She was singing along to every song on her playlist as if she was auditioning for American Idol. I didn’t turn around for fear that I would unleash a storm of anger on her but I just know that she was waving her hand up in the air when she hit those high notes.

I shot a look to my neighbor across the aisle and he shot me one back. We couldn’t help but laugh even though it wasn’t funny. It was rude. She was disturbing everyone around her and I didn’t have any NyQuil to help put me to sleep.  I couldn’t get away from her I didn’t want to tell her to shut the f up, and apparently neither did anyone else because it continued for the duration of the flight.

Lets face it people. On an airplane we are trapped, for lack of a better term, and it would be highly appreciated if everyone would adhere to a few basic rules of airplane etiquette, which are as follows:

1) Don’t bring smelly food onto the plane. This very much includes fast food. I don’t know about you guys but when I see a fellow passenger clinging to a grease-stained bag of McDonald’s and catch my first whiff of fries I start to feel nauseous. There is NO ventilation system on an airplane so please be considerate when transporting or eating any food items on board.

2) No singing. Period. There’s no reason for you to sing whatsoever. Unless the plane is going down and you’re singing Amazing Grace in which case there are much bigger fish to fry.

3) Don’t watch anything with nudity, graphic sex, or graphic violence on your laptop, iPad, or tablet. You never know who’s sitting next to you and their eyes shouldn’t be plagued with anything R rated when they’re confined and it’s almost impossible to look away. There are also almost always children on board who don’t need to be scarred for life.

4) Take social cues in conversation. Sometimes you briefly engage with your seatmate before take off but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to hear your life’s story until landing time. If it looks like they are trying to sleep or get to their book, be mindful that this is their time to distract themselves however they please.

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