This Gives A Whole New Meaning To "I See Dead People"

Murder is illegal. Robbery is illegal. Money laundering is illegal.

Blow jobs are illegal- in Louisiana, North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Kansas. What, what? Back it up and stop.

Not only is oral sex between two consenting adults technically illegal, but guess what’s not in those four states: Necrophilia. That’s what. For those of you whose stomachs immediately did not turn you must not be aware of the word’s definition. It means having intercourse with someone who is dead. Yeah. Take a minute to swallow that, but please leave the mung in the corpse. If you don’t know what that means, look it up. Can’t describe.

So how do Okie’s enforce this law?

How are they policing people deciding to engage in oral sex? And what, pray tell, is the punishment if you’re caught?

Is it just me or is this men’s prayers answered? Now there’s a sexy new spin on a “job” that some women hate.

“Hey baby. Come on. It’ll be hot. It’s against the law.” Turn. On.

While I have a feeling that there isn’t exactly a Big Brother-esque force in each of these states making sure that oral isn’t part of a couple’s nightly rituals, my advice if you’re caught on your knees in one of these red states is to put your hands in prayer position. If there’s one thing more important than the law in red states, it’s God.

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