The Thirty-Life Crisis


not ready.

We’ve all heard about the mid-life crisis and the past ten years the rise of the quarter-life crisis, but there’s a crisis that hasn’t been the name of a new TV pilot or catchy books yet. Yes, I’m talking about the thirty-life crisis. It’s probably because most people are on record as saying that now that they are thirty they know who they are and are more comfortable in their own skin and really now themselves. Blah, blah, blah. I call BS. Thirty is when you’re supposed to feel like an actual adult, in theory.

But really, thirty is like this huge alarm clock that goes off and won’t turn off. Once you realize you’re thirty you start having to answer all of those important questions that you were able to put off in your twenties.

Am I ready to settle down?

Do I want to settle down?

Do I want kids?

What do I want out of the rest of my life?

Who the hell are all of these people in my life?

Turning thirty sets off a chain reaction of questions that kind of only leads to more questions with no answers. While some may be more comfortable in their skin at thirty, the rest of us are looking around at all of our peers and wondering if we should be doing what they’re doing instead of what we’re doing. It can lead to moments of self-doubt that seem to last a lifetime.

We’re supposed to have it figured out by now. But most of us don’t and aren’t any closer to figuring it out than we were twelve months ago or will be twelve months from now. So please be kind to all of the thirty-somethings out there and don’t give them a look of pity if they’re still trying to figure the next fifty years of their life out.

The next time I hear someone say, “I can’t wait to turn thirty,” I think I’m going to throw up.

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