How Long Should You Date An "Aspiring"?

ElephantIn your twenties, it’s more likely than not that the people you date won’t be at or near their career goal.  Med students have medical school, internships and a long road before they have the coveted M.D. following their name.  Lawyers also have a long path from summer associate to Supreme Court Justice.  But what about people whose dream careers don’t follow a specific path?

While no one would dare say it’s easy to become a doctor, lawyer, or CEO, if someone works hard and follows point A to point B and so on and so forth, they’re more than likely to eventually end up in the position they want. But there’s the flip side of the coin: actors, writers, musicians, artists, etc. The reality is that no matter how talented they are or how hard they work, they may never see their name on the marquee or on the shelves at Barnes & Noble.

Is there a girl that doesn’t love a guy who can play the guitar?  Who can resist playing muse?  Women are attracted to men who aren’t afraid to take risks, but there comes a point as we approach, or are in the midst of our thirties, when hearing the latest ballad they wrote about you doesn’t fill the void of owning a home, being financially stable, or having a child.

But what about people who break out and make it later in life? Mark Ruffalo went on about a thousand auditions before he booked a big part. It wasn’t until he was forty-four that he was nominated for an Oscar.  Will Smith is quoted as saying, “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”  I can respect that sentiment, but how long are we supposed to wait?  When is it time to part ways with the person living in the two-bedroom apartment with three other people?  When is it time to stop footing the bill for the dinners out and date night activities?

That’s a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves.  In my opinion, when their lack of success starts affecting your ability to move forward in your relationship or with the life that you want to create for yourself, it’s time to go.  Even if it’s a nasty break up and they end up making it, you’ll always be able to go to the movies to see them.  And if they don’t, you’ve saved yourself from wasting your own precious time.

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