Let’s Take Trolling Back to the Streets


IT starts innocently enough. You engage with a stranger in the comment section of a website about whether Tom Selleck is good at Ultimate Frisbee (he is*) and before you can say Callahan (one of the most ultimate and prestigious moves in frisbee ever), you’re arguing about mustaches, Magnum P.I., and why Hobby Lobby is an assault to women everywhere. How?

You’ve been trolled.

Yesterday the above printout went up on signposts in Brooklyn, giving kids of the ’80s and everyone with Arachnophobia PTSD a reason to run for Jitney.

Let it be known, Penelope and her red rump are on their way to ruin everyone’s weekend. Especially since, according to her owner and NY Mag, Penelope is “mostly harmless,” aside from being a pregnant tarantula and all. Yep! Even with her hairy legs and diaper rash, P convinced some other tarantula spider to spin a web of ayayayaiiii with her, if you know what we mean. In other news, step up your game ladies.

But how much MORE fun would Penelope be if she was just a little Tarantula troll? Because life would be so much better and more terrifying (and therefore fun), if instead of attacking strangers in the comment sections on websites, we took trolling back to the streets.

What did they call that in the ’80s? Oh yeah, practical jokes.

SO! Happy Friday Brooklynites. Here’s to hoping Penelope isn’t birthing in your Brownstone right now.

*Re-watch Three Men and a Baby and try and tell me his flick of the wrist isn’t pro-status.

+ Leave a Reply