I Can't Remember to Love You: The Romantimatic App

Now if only his fingers were small enough to actually press the buttons, I'd be set...

Now if only his fingers were small enough to actually press the buttons, I’d be set…

If you like to over-complicate your relationships and your life at the same time, look no further! We’re here to tell you about the latest app that will accomplish just that.

For a mere $1.99,  Romantimatic will keep track of your loved ones stored in your address book and send you reminders throughout the day or week to send your favorite people some textual love. If you are lacking in the imagination department, Romantimatic comes equipped with a couple dozen pre-written texts you can simply forward on.

You can choose lines like “I love you” from the Classics category, or something a little more specific like “Totally swamped, but can’t get you off my mind” from the Busy category. (Doesn’t the latter sounds a bit like a lie just by default?)

The use of this app can be appealing – sort of – for people you don’t really keep in touch with. A once-every-two-month reminder to check in with that un-likeable cousin of yours you don’t really keep in touch with but feel like you should for Nana’s sake, might actually be nice and welcome. But if you can’t muster up the strength or find the time to compose a romantic text message (come one! it’s a freakin’ text message) to someone that you claim to love, perhaps it’s time to put the phone down and evaluate that relationship with your significant other.

It’s hard to imagine where the concept for this app was born, because “Oh man I’m so busy, I wish I could remember to text my girlfriend, ugh” doesn’t seem likely. If you’re constantly forgetting about your lover, let us be the first to break the news to you, honey: no app, especially not a stock-message texting app, is going to fix the underlying issues that are bound to be there and break your asses up. Although if the app’s creator Greg Knauss manages to corner a niche of the ever-popular dating-app market by approaching it from a very different direction, then the joke’s on all of us for not thinking of it first. Who knows? Perhaps some people compartmentalize their lives to such an extent that they really do have trouble remembering to text the loves of their lives.

We here at LC have a dream. We have a dream that one day this nation will eventually hit its limit with these detached methods of communication, of expressing romantic interest in another human being by proxy, and actually make an effort for face-to-face interaction. But if that can’t or won’t happen, maybe there’ll be an upsurge in nostalgia for simpler times and people will resort to archaic, prehistoric forms of communication in an effort to look “cool.”

Like making an actual telephone call.

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