Friends With Benefits: Women Do It Better Than Men

Dissatisfied beautiful young woman in bed with sad and disappointed expression on her face

“When you said ‘sleep over,’ I didn’t think you actually meant sleep.”


The casual, no-strings-attached-sex-with-a-trusted-pal plan is generally thought of as a man’s paradise and a woman’s worst nightmare. We pretend we’re fine with perpetual Netflix and chill in hopes that the dude will fall madly in love with us, anyway. Or at least that’s the version that society tends to keep painting for us. And selling us, to boot.

But some recent research has found that women are actually better at having friends with benefits than men are… which probably doesn’t come as a surprise to most of the women who have actually tried it.

This particular study was carried out by the UK sex toy brand called LoveHoney, and they discovered that while 64 percent of women have had a casual sexual relationship with someone whom they know, only 51 percent of men have. To be fair, this information doesn’t necessarily point to the fact that all of those friends with benefit relationships go well, but it does seem that women are more likely to attempt them to begin with.

There are a couple reasons why this might be happening. For one thing, there are plenty of women who can see the advantage to sleeping with a friend or someone else consistent as opposed to multiple people. Besides the safety and trust considerations, it’s pretty appealing to find and hold on to someone who actually knows what they’re doing in bed. Especially since recent research reveals that heterosexual women in friends-with-benefit relationships orgasm a whopping 17% more often than they do during first-time hookups. Plus, having any type of relationship still requires emotional energy, so dealing with a steady partner gives you at least some idea of what to expect. It is, after all, possible to sleep with people that we like without ordering a subscription to Brides magazine.

As for why men aren’t as on board — who knows? Maybe it’s because they’ve been conditioned to believe that having sex with a woman will quickly lead her to start dropping marriage hints (see above). Or maybe it’s because men are a lot more sensitive than they let on, and that sometimes sleeping with a friend can be a little more complicated than they like to admit. Let’s be honest, any type of relationship can get complicated.

(h/t She Knows)