IT’S NO SECRET that hormone levels in a woman’s body are often fluctuating at any given time (and that a woman’s body was designed to do that) but, for some reason, it’s easy to forget those facts when we’re in the midst of a tortilla-chip binge or a sappy commercial meltdown. It can be very difficult to see past those frantic and vulnerable moments, and reason doesn’t always come clearly. We’ve already written about all the benefits you can receive from learning more about your reproductive health and cycle, and Hormone Horoscope, a new menstrual-cycle tracker, is another tool to help you do that. Just think of how much clarity you’ll get when you realize that you’re texting your best friend about your regularly-scheduled-but-still-surprising overnight weight gain the same days every month.
Hormone Horoscope, which has been around since 2013 but is gaining much more traction during this surge of fertility apps, works by tracking your schedule for you, and then giving you gentle reminders about what you might be feeling each day and why. Surprise, you’re not the only woman who feels foggy on certain days and super-sharp on others. Some of this can be explained by simple biology. Who knew?
This app should be used with a bit of lightheartedness, however. It might be most helpful for women who are trying to understand their consistent mood and body changes, but only in the most general and generic senses. Since you can’t upload any blood samples into the app for it to run hormone panels, the information and explanations it provides will never be one-hundred-percent accurate to your body chemistry, meaning it can be a hit-or-miss. Also, we’re not sure if it was meant to be used by people looking for reasons to excuse their “random” sensitivity or bitchiness. After all, don’t we hate it when people ask if we’re PMSing, even when we are? We do.
While this app is no oracle when it comes to predicting how you’ll feel on any given day of your cycle (it really does take the “horoscope” part of its name seriously), it does provide a couple of other cool functions, like sharing interestingly weird facts on the biology of menstruation and fertility. Did you know that we have a skinniest day of the month? Or that our faces look most symmetrical when we’re fertile? (Cause the boys just love them some symmetrical faces, apparently.)
And if you’re one of the lucky people whose moods seem to be accurately predicted by the app, it might help you plan certain aspects of your life more efficiently. After all, reason and character generally outweigh any urges we might have to smash into the other cars that are causing traffic on our commute home whilst in the midst of a hormonal rage. But only generally. Maybe we’ll choose to work from home on those days of the month.
Hormone Horoscope is available both on iTunes Store and Google Play.