Government Shutdown: A Style Guide

americandreamWhen the House and Senate can’t agree, and political parties are fighting like slacker lab partners in chemistry class (I know I always hated group work in school), a government shutdown seems like the only reasonable option. But what’s a fashionista to do? If Democrats and Republicans can’t come to a compromise on health care, we certainly shouldn’t have to compromise on style. So here’s a handy guide on what to wear when the federal government shuts down indefinitely and many Americans are forced to suffer the consequences.

One of the more than 800,000 “non-essential” government employees furloughed? It’s wine o’ clock—break out the sweatpants! But just any old sweatpants won’t do. Check out these super-stylish “Furlough Friday” bottoms. Whether the shutdown lasts three days or three weeks, you’ll never want to take these off.

Oh no—the national parks are closed! Everybody out. But if you’re camped deep within the Yosemite boundaries, you could be stuck there for a while, and rainy season starts up soon. Better break out the leopard print poncho, like this one for only $25.

Maybe you were hoping to visit one of the national monuments this week and were disappointed to learn that they, too, were closed. Lady Liberty feels your pain in this ironic tank. Turns out, big girls do cry.

Because the Centers for Disease Control won’t be able to support its annual seasonal influenza program, a lot of us could be going without flu shots. Don’t risk getting infected and invest in a stylish face mask.

If the shutdown has you feeling less than patriotic, rejuvenate your American spirit with the American Dream Charlie Tank. The red, white and blue skull thing may seem dark, but we think it shows cautious optimism that our great nation will pull through this Congressional blunder. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

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