Hi my name is Abby and I’ve become a sexting ghost writer. I never meant for it to happen. It just kind of did. Friends of mine would ask me how things are going with this guy or that guy and I’d share with them some of our sexy text messages. Not to brag, well, maybe a little, but they’d always say that my texts were so clever and witty while still being sexy. And then it happened.
“Hey Abby, I’m trying to think of something to say to Guy X and I don’t know what to say. Here’s what we’ve said so far.”
“Um, I don’t know. What do you want to say?”
“Well I want to say (insert something explicit from your own imagination) but you’re a writer. Make it better.”
And that’s how it began. I started ghost writing my friends sexts. So for all of you novice sexters out there here are my tips on creating the perfect sexy text.
1) Less is more
In the words of former New Jersey housewife, Danielle Staub, always engage and then suggest. While you want to make sure that things are steamy, you don’t want to write anything too explicit or clinical. You want to keep the person on the other end of your phone interested and aroused but you don’t want to give them an anatomy lesson. Lead them down the path but let them use their imagination. That’s much more enticing than spelling everything out for them. It will keep them coming back for more.
2) Puns, Pop Culture and Double Entendres Are Encouraged
I already followed my own rule in #1. Did you see how I ended it with “…coming back for more?” I am a HUGE advocate of adding puns, pop culture, and double entendres in sexts. It arouses the mind as well as well, you know. If you can get a laugh out of your sexting partner that is a huge plus. Think about what’s going on news and entertainment wise while you’re sexting. I was a huge abuser of using 50 Shades of Gray for a long time. After they would say something steamy I would say something like:
“Oh, 50 Shades of insert their last name here.”
I did that a lot. And it worked. Also keep a mental list of words that can be sexual if you’re in that head space.
If you make yourself more aware of your words you’ll be fine.
3) Keep It Real
Be true to yourself. While you do take on another persona while you’re sexting, don’t say something so out of character that you alienate your partner. They’re sexting you because they like you. Okay maybe they like the Sasha Gray version of you, but make sure you’re comfortable with everything you’re saying because if you aren’t, they won’t be.
4) Know When to Stop
Each sexting conversation has a life of its own. Let them end naturally. After he says something you don’t have to say something to drag it out. It can be hotter when you don’t respond. Let the conversation resolve itself based on it’s own momentum. Yes, that was a Seinfeld reference. And if you got that, we would definitely be good sexting partners.