Goals (?)
CALLING all hopeless romantics. Turns out you’re not even a little bit alone. Despite the evidence against it, a majority of single people still believe that marriage can last forever.
This information was gathered by Match.com, through a survey they conducted called “Singles in America.” They asked 5, 500 single people across the U.S. their opinions on the longevity of relationships, and both genders agreed that making it for the long haul is possible. An extremely high 90 percent of single women and 88 percent of single men were on the same page about it.
One of the other questions surveyors asked was if participants felt it was appropriate to leave a “satisfactory marriage if [they] are no longer passionately in love.” A third of them said yes. So, clearly these people seem confident that it’s possible to fall in love and stay in love, not just remain married in spite of whatever happens.
On the other hand, over half of those surveyed disagreed with the concept that ending a marriage meant failure, so people aren’t completely opposed to ending things when necessary, either. Let’s be honest, things don’t always work out as we planned.
You do have to wonder, however, where Match.com drew their sample of participants from. Sure, the surveyors state that they surveyed ” over 5,500 singles from all ages, ethnicities, incomes and walks of life from across the nation” — but are these singles Match users? If the survey drew predominantly from users of the site, you might assume that those people would be more inclined on average to believe in the real deal, since they’re actively looking for it.
What would really be interesting is to see a long-term study on people’s beliefs and how their life plays out. If, at 20, someone doesn’t believe in love or marriage, is life likely to change their mind, or will their beliefs keep them from pursuing and finding romance? How many of the people who get married by the age of 25 had that lifelong goal of tying the knot since they were children?
The way we approach the world has as much as to with the choices we don’t make as the ones that we do. We all know someone who limits themselves with their beliefs, and we might even do it to ourselves some of the time. How many times have you stopped yourself from talking to that interesting-looking person out of a fear that you’re going to trip over your own tongue and fall flat on your face? Even when you’re aware of your own behavior, it’s not always easy to change the thought processes behind them overnight. You can’t contest the extent of their power over our experiences, though, so it’s something to keep in mind.
Perhaps half the battle of creating a long-lasting marriage is getting two people together who have the same solid faith that it’s possible.
